Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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