Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
