Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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