so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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