he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
