I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
