I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
