Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I deserve this hangover.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
