the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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