You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
