Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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