At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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