after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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