I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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