Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
