Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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