I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
