they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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