we have pet lesbian snakes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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