I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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