Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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