Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
