i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize