Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
