It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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