he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
