Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
