Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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