She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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