I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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