I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will be naked everywhere
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
