I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
