Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
