She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize