I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
