I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
