We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
