I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
