I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
false alarm. still invincible.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
