giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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