It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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