okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
