someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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