i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize