Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
