How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
