youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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