I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
