I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
