fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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