I CAN MOONWALK!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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