Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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