somebody snuck up and got me drunk
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
