we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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