I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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